“Too sensitive?”

Q: My partner accuses me of being “too sensitive” and tells me I should just get over things. Is there hope for us? How can I handle this?

depressed ethnic woman sitting at table
Photo by Muhammadtaha Ibrahim Ma’aji on Pexels.com

A: By not allowing those words to find a landing place. You may be feeling the sting because you believe them too – which means there’s some productive self-acceptance work you can do for yourself. Each time you feel hurt will be a reminder to look inwards.

From a different perspective, if your partner told you that your nose was too green, you wouldn’t care because you know it’s not true, right?

And who decides that sensitivity is a bad thing anyway? Could you learn to love your sensitivity as one of your beautiful and defining qualities instead?

Realistically, there is no such thing as “too sensitive” except in someone else’s opinion. There can be real value in an HSP/non-HSP pairing, so unless there’s another reason to consider leaving (eg a broader pattern of dismissiveness or control), there is hope.

What you can do instead is learn to accept yourself and show your partner with confidence that this is who you are and that sensitivity is one of your gifts. This raises the chances that they will choose to understand and love the whole package too. But even if they don’t, you’ve stayed true to the best of who you are.